I believe that many people have a fear of dying alone, which may be the reason why many people tend to view being single as something dreadful.
Many people view singleness with a sense of loneliness and anxiety for a future spouse but it’s actually a season that is so essential for us to embrace. It can be a season of invitation to genuine intimacy with the Lord. We have a tendency to want to skip over or speed through this process but it’s an opportunity to truly get rooted and solidify our identity in Christ. This is a time of great preparation, a season when we make godliness and inward beauty a priority. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a season and appointed time for everything”, so if you’re in a season of singleness or you know that singleness is the season God wants you to be in, embrace it. Song of Songs 8:4
Since I was 15 years old, I have always had a boyfriend. My identity and affirmation came from the relationships I was in but once I stepped into a relationship with Christ, this was something that had to change. How I view myself is no longer determined by my relationships or how my significant other views me, my identity is who I am in Christ.
I knew in my heart for some time that the Lord wanted me to learn to put Him first above all else and to love Him above all. I had to learn that He alone is more than enough. It took courage and heartbreak to get to a place of complete surrender and trusting God and His ways. Being single for the first time was a little uncomfortable at first and the first thing I wanted to do was jump back into another relationship, but I knew in my heart of hearts that I would never know true love, life, peace or joy unless I gave myself whole heartedly to God. Being faithful to God’s plan requires great faith and a constant awareness that our story is actually about Him.
Ladies, stop looking for “the one” and start becoming “the one”. If you want the best, become your best self first. Fix your eyes on Jesus. If you’re walking with Him, you’re walking away from sin and the things that keep you from truly experiencing an intimate relationship with God. Your relationship with Jesus will transform you to the wonderful person God created you to be. Psalm 139
People seem to think that once they find “the one” they will be complete but the truth is, only Christ can complete you. When it comes to relationships, two halves shouldn’t make a whole; two whole people should come together so they can become something dynamic.
One day a guy might come along and you may feel like he’s “the one” but be careful not to base your relationships on feelings alone, base the relationship according to the Word. Do not be led by your feelings but be led by the Spirit. Human feelings are fickle and can change like the seasons. I've come across a few wolves in sheep’s clothing in my time. These are the guys who call themselves Christians but their actions speak otherwise. A godly man is a man of integrity. A guy that truly loves Jesus would not compromise his convictions or yours. He would fight for purity and would not put you in compromising situations. He would lead you out of the bedroom and closer to the cross. We cannot pursue Jesus and sexual immorality at the same time because sexual immortality distorts us from being able to hear clearly from God. Godly men will treat you like a sister in Christ.
Be careful to recognize if the guy you’re interested in is seeking God for you and not for himself. A woman should not be his motivator. She shouldn’t be the one dragging him to church. Also, his desire should be to please God more than you. He would be the most effective spiritual leader if he is completely submitted to Christ, so never surrender your heart to someone who isn’t pursuing Jesus on a consistent basis.
You are a daughter of the king of kings and that speaks volumes of the kind of man you deserve. Our heavenly father is a good father and wants only the best for His children, so you don’t have to settle. When your husband comes, he will pursue you. Until then, seek God and His heart, He has been pursuing you since the day you were born and will continue to pursue you for as long as you shall live, now that’s unfailing love.
If we live for His glory, we should live to glorify Him in every relationship, moment and aspect of our lives.
Your Glory by All Sons and Daughters
Your Glory by All Sons and Daughters
Awesome blog Michelle!
ReplyDeleteThis is truly "inspired" writing, and your grade-school English teachers have done you justice. Ha
Before my walk with Christ began, being single was defined as living life however I saw fit. I was convinced that this lifestyle would allow me to remain free from any unwanted attachments, and give me the power to avoid emotional pain as well as the sense of bondage that's associated with being in a committed relationship.
Little did I know, the enemy had me in the palm of his hand. I was driven by lust and selfish intentions that kept me in sin. This form of bondage was far worse than the kind that I was so concerned with trying to avoid.
Constantly seeking condolence from 'the homies,' handing my affections to women, allowing others to determine my self-worth; This was me living as I saw fit.
Fortunately, God's love and grace is sufficient! After countless trials, and several heartaches intense enough to make me question whether there was a God, and if He ever gave a damn about me (excuse my language), I learned that God Himself is love. Hebrews 12:6 reads, "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son (or daughter) whom he recieveth." He loves us so much that He allows us to stumble and experience that heartache so that we can acknowledge Him as our Father. He wants us to understand that He is everthing that we could ever need or want in this life because He is our strength, and where we are weak He can make us strong.
I am currently in a season whereby God has called me to maintain the relationship status of 'single.' The Lords idea of single however, differs significantly from what mine once was. During such a season God wants us to understand what relation with Him truly is. This requires us to abstain from sexual immorality and sin in general, because it darkens our reasoning and understanding. Due to the constant temptation, weakness of the flesh and at times the mind and spirit, we must draw closer to God and pray for the strength necessary to endure this season as He intended. This time of dependence is what takes our relationship with the Lord to a whole new level. Honestly, when thinking about my journey thus far it makes me laugh a bit. I went from not being able to make a committment to making the ultimate committment to Christ; and I'm even planning on getting myself a purity ring! I was only able to get to this point through the strength of our God.
As our creator He knows exactly who we are and the conditions of our body, heart, mind and spirit. He wants our identity to be understood in Him opposed to the partners that we have appointed ourselves. Personally, He has forgiven and forgotten my past so that I can live anew. I now understand God's love to be the purest of its kind, and who am I not to pursue the greatest love that I will ever know?